This morning I write from my bed in Advent Hospital to share great news.
For the first time in years I woke up free of panic and a racing heart. I do not detect pain anywhere on my body and there is no sign of tremor - internal or external. I am completely still. I have not felt this calm in a very long time. It feels odd and exciting at the same time. So with a big smile I jump out of bed and run to show my nurses. I'm standing straight and tall. I am not leaning forward on misshapen toes that have tried to keep me from falling forward for the last year. My hands & feet are not swollen. The nerve pain running under both upper legs is gone.
Just got the call from University of Florida Shand's Hospital in Gainesville. An openiing came up tomorrow. I don't have to wait until May. I hope to get some good news and help managing what I can no longer.
I turn to my favorite quotes:
"The future belongs to those that believe in the beauty of their dreams," - - Eleanor Roosevelt
"Joy comes to us in ordinary moments. We risk missing out when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary" - - Dr. Brene Brown
“You’re braver than you believe and stronger and smarter than you think.” —Winnie-the-Pooh
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation; it means understanding it is understanding that something is what it is and that there has got to be a way through it,' - - Michael J. Fox. Amen Michael. Thanks for the reminder.
Will be back tomorrow to report the results of my visit. Please pray for me that it is now time for DBS Surgery. I'm not afraid; not in the least. I am more afraid of staying this way. I won't survive the beating my body is taking from the tremor
I have been subscribed to the DAILY OM daily email for years. Only because I swear they have hidden a listening device in my home to get the scoop on what I'm talking about, and then they send me (and thousands of others) an email that is directly related to how to positively deal with it - - just about every day. It is way too creepy to ignore so I read it, faithfully, every day.
Right on cue.... here is a copy of their Horoscope email for LEOs for July 1st. (I have to go find that microphone now.)
On June 20, 2018, My 3,443 Day Nightmare Has Ended in a Miracle thanks to Shands Hospital at the University of Florida
Under the heading of, "YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS......."
All went better than expected yesterday at the UF Health Shands in Gainesville. The staff at the Movement Disorder and Neurorestoration Center is incredible. Their protocol was unlike any I had been through in the past three attempts at other well known facilities that offer Deep Brain Stimulation surgery I so desperately needed as a Stage 4 Early Onset Parkinson's Disease patient.
My day began with one hour of PT with Alison Kraus, PT, DPT, NCS, and one hour of OT with (my personal guardian angel) Heather Simpson, MOT, OTR/L. I then saw my doctor, Wissam Deeb, MD, who together with the two other health professionals worked as a team to properly diagnose. Dr. Deeb had the very good fortune to deliver unexpected, jaw dropping news to me. I am not able to share the results with you at the moment, but I promise I will soon.
This open letter is to thank the unending love and support from the hundreds on my support team that were praying hard for a miracle. We got one. I lived 3,443 days as a Parkinson's patient. My decade long struggle has a final twist that (just like in a movie) leads me with no forewarning, to a happy ending; one reserved for Miracles from God books.
I am overwhelmed, blessed, and dumbfounded. I have accepted God's miracle with blind faith and am allowing myself some private time to process the last 48 hours.
I go between elation and crying and back. I still have work to do, but its not what you think. I will be back soon to explain what happened.
You seriously are never going to believe this.
I NEVER GAVE UP. Don't you ever, either.........
With joy in my heart,
P.S.: I just re-read my most recent blog posts where I write
DON'T GIVE IN
DON'T GIVE UP
PARKIINSONS WILL NOT WIN
There is a reason everything in life happens, in the order it happens. Their "NO" may have saved me from dying the day that surgery may have been planned. Their "NO" may lead me to the right timing of "YES". Their "NO" may have made me work harder to take care of myself and naturally improve my quality of life in the interim. Their "YES" may have stood in the way of something positive I would have missed out on. Maybe its not time to put holes in my head. Maybe a medicine that will stop my progression will be released and that is what I meant to take. My thoughts are not pointing to sadness. They keep pointing to: Something keeps stopping me from having brain surgery. What? It wasn't supposed to happen today. Why?
Now I know why. The Universe was guiding me to the right answer. My intuition was right on the money!!!!! Trust your gut.
Thank you for all of the "thinking of you" notes and wishes and prayers here and on Messenger. A really good health day is a precious gift. I've been sleeping better so today I woke up to enjoy one! To celebrate I thought I would check in and send you my smile in hopes you will pass it along to someone in your path today who could really use one. If you give yours away, chances are you will most likely get it right back. Have a beautiful day.
PS: My next surgery eval date is June 20th. Will check in as we get closer.
Happy New Year and Welcome 2018!! Couldn't resist saying goodbye to 2017 in the LBD I welcomed it. Bye Bye!!
I send warm and joyful wishes to all of my friends and family this Christmas. I'm sorry that I have not been as present this year. 2017 was a long year with my dad's passing and my battle with Parkinsons. I saw major set backs in 2017 but in defiance, I have triumph in my sights for 2018. I live a private life now I don't chronicle on social media. I live it instead. Know that I have found solid ground once again and I am thriving. I am filled with gratitude for the little things. I have tremendous love surrounding me. I triumph over PD some days and I exert more effort to do what came so easy on other days. I walk slower than I used to, but you can't stop me on my bike; that's where I leave PD behind. I look forward to DBS surgery with anticipation. I have so much more to accomplish in this second half of my life. PD will soon move out of my consciousness after surgery thanks to a pulse generator regulating the signals from my brain which will allow me to live in tremor free peace. I smile at the thought of that first day of stillness. Incredible! My health is better than ever and so is my heart and mind. Thank you for all the messages asking for an update. I wish you peace, joy, love, prosperity and very good health in 2018. And don't forget to live life like you mean it by making every day count.
Wear Your Heart On Your Sleeve
"Lisa Chalker is One Face of Early Onset Parkinson's Disease. Come along on her journey from symptoms to diagnosis; through treatments and therapies. There are highs and lows, miracles and heart notes, and the determination to never, ever, ever, ever give up on the power of HOPE."