Working as a Listener with 7 Cups has been extremely rewarding for me, as well as eye opening. I am a Listener on a form of online crisis line for anyone who wants to anonymously chat about anything on their mind that is bothering them.
I've spoken to others just as anxious as me. Those that can't believe a boy doesn't want to be with them any longer (and vice-versa). Those that have no money, no food, and are sleeping on someone's couch. I've chatted with the abused, the lonely, the strange, the perverted, the university student who is struggling to meet the expectations of their parents. The dark lonely person who answers in only one word replies to keep me guessing like a game. I've also helped a great deal of people in my short tenure. Here are some of my feedback reviews:
Writing this blog to connect with others who are also lost or suffering on their life's journey was the start of allowing myself the freedom to be vulnerable and honest with myself. I struggled and fought hard against believing what others were showing me with a mirror. Coming to terms with the reality of who I am, owning up to my weaknesses while trying to still celebrate small my successes has been a giant kick in the pants. It has left me stripped down and laid bare for all to see now that my mental emotions are no longer pent up and hidden on the inside. They are in full physical view for all to see. My tremor, my neurologists tell me, are of my own making and not that of Parkinson's or any other "disease." My brain was pushed to the breaking point (as stubborn as I was to get things figured out and done) and I basically broke it. Okay, now what do I do? Where do I go? How do I fix this? In the meantime, its all about healing. My mind, body, spirit, soul. Be kind to myself. Ask others to be kind to me. Try to navigate help from the medical profession to find out how to return to a whole functioning adult human again. First step: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy...... along with sleep, exercise, and nutrition.
Since no one has taken any functional scans of my brain off of meds since 2013, I hope they are right. Beginning to titrate down once again starting today. 2 Carbidopa/levodopa tablets every 6 hours. Every 5 days drop each dose by 1/2 tab. Return to the doctor in 3 weeks. When I get too low I can't walk any longer. Doctor says I can't die from getting off my meds. Do I have any choice but to trust? Going back to Dr. Deeb at Shands Gainesville in 4 days for his final opinion.
In the meantime, I will lean on my colleagues at 7 Cups to help me through. There are hundreds of fellow Listeners who are prepared to lend me an empathetic ear as I go through this final struggle to regain my ability to cope and compose myself. The doctors say I should not tremor once off the meds. Cross your fingers they are right.
I have had such good fortune this year and the Universe seems to be expanding again for me. Finally the mystery of my ailment is truly solved. A second opinion this week confirms what Shands Gainesville first advised last summer; that living as an Early Onset Parkinson's patient for the last 11 years will soon be coming to an end. Ends up a misdiagnosis not caught by University of Miami or Mayo Clinic; the doctors at Shands are my heroes. The first scans of my brain since the DATSCAN in 2013 confirms that my brain is completely normal. My neurologist in Daytona ordered a CAT scan, functional MRI and functional EEG then reported the good news. I have PD symptoms from the large amount of Parkinson meds I take. The news is incredible. Its not going to be easy after 18,500 dopamine tablets and 2,790 unnecessary Neupro patches. Thank God I was turned down for DBS surgery 4 times. I could be regretting holes drilled into my head. With the help of Advent Hospital, I hope to be prescription drug free by next year. I cannot wait to get on my bike again and sleep through the night. Two things I miss desperately. Thanks to everyone who has supported me over the decade. Hopefully next time you see me, my tremors will be gone; replaced by a quiet peace, stillness and gratitude. I have a tough road ahead of me but I'm excited at the visions of me going through my day with tremor, falling or dropping everything. I will make it. Never give up and never give in.
We got this,
Great news to report!! Since being told I actually do not have Parkinson's Disease but that it is rather Functional Neurological Disorder I have been titrating my dopamine down from 18 tablets per day (3 tabs x 6 times per day) to 1 tax x 3 times per day to then get off the Neupro and Amantadine, if possible. I AM DOWN TO 4.5 TABS PER DAY (1.5 tabs x 3 times per day) AND FEELING AMAZING. I am back on my bike and have drop a good deal of the nastiest symptoms of being on that extreme dosing level, Got me thinking tonight.....Just how many tablets of Sinemet have I taken unnecessarily?
I found my first neurologist's records online purely by accident. They share the same patient record online vendor that my new CBT therapist does. What a surprise to learn the exact dates of the progression since he was the first neurologist I was finally referred to after my first symptom appeared in January 2009. My first visit date was December 8, 2011. Almost 3 years after my first symptom.
My first prescription for Sinimet was given to me on May 8, 2012 for 1/2 tablet x 3 times a day before meals, then titrate up to 1 tablet per day x 3 days after 7 days.
That was increased to 4 tablets per day on August 9, 2013.
Moved to Florida September 29, 2013 and began with new neuro immediately who diagnosed me with PD on November 15, 2013 from the results of a DATSCAN which today can prove whether or not the dopamine in my head has been progressively depleting or as my current neuro suspects may very well have stayed the same level. Will be interesting to find out!!! I don't have my prescription record handy for this writing from this doctor, but my pharmacy records will tell
For insurance reasons had to change to a new neuro who I saw for the first time on February 5, 2015. My visit record from that day shows I was on 1 tablet x 5 times per day.
Went up to 1 tablet x 6 times a day on December 15, 2015.
By November 2, 2016 I was raised to 1.5 tablets x 5 times a day then on October 3, 2017 raised again to 2 tablets x 5 times per day.
Changed neurologist when I moved. The initial visit was November 10, 2017. He raised me to 2.5 tablets x 6 times per day
By January 12 , 2018 I am taking 3 tabs at my 6am dose and 2 tabs for another 5 doses per day. He tried to raise me to 3 tabs x 6 times per day but writes that I reported being super hyper at that level. He backed me down to 3 tabs in the 6 am dose then 2.25 for the other 5.
My final report before Shands visit on June 20, 2018 was my last visit to that other neuro on March 23, 2018. I was taking 3 tabs at 6 am and 6 pm and 2 tabs at 10am, 10pm, and 2am. They write in their report, "Ms. Vullo was advised to take 3 tabs of Carbidopa/Levodopa for her 0600, 1000, 1300, and 1800 doses" and advised to skip the next two dose all together. That did not work so they prescribed me 3 tabs x 6 times per day and this time I stayed that way until June 20, 2018.
When I left Shands Hospital I immediately began to drop to 2.5 tabs x 5 times per day. Seven days later I dropped to 2 tabs x 5 times per day. 7 days later I am at 1.5 tabs only 3 times per day.
What does all of that add up to?
I HAVE SWALLOWED 13,474 TABLETS OF DOPAMINE AT A COST OF $17,381.46
I HAVE AFFIXED 1,795 PATCHES OF NEUPRO AT A COST OF $41,567.70
FOR A TOTAL COST OF $58,949.16
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"Lisa Chalker is One Face of Early Onset Parkinson's Disease. Come along on her journey from symptoms to diagnosis; through treatments and therapies. There are highs and lows, miracles and heart notes, and the determination to never, ever, ever, ever give up on the power of HOPE."