My heart spoke to me. I wrote down what it said. To no one in particular. Perhaps it was meant for you. If it is, my heart goes out to you...........
Pure love was all you were on the day you were born. You were a bundle of cells that formed and thrived and lived and entered the world with a fresh start. From that moment you took your first breath, time began to build your personal journey with the world around you. You were influenced by people who surrounded you. They taught you everything you needed to know in order to communicate your needs so that they could care for you until you were capable of making the simplest decisions on your own. Up until then you knew nothing but love and gratitude for the one that fed and nurtured you. As soon as you saw them you simply smiled and your caretaker smiled back. The simplest and purist form of saying, “I love you.” You didn’t know to look at them harshly or in anger. You didn’t think to yourself, “This person is beautiful,” or “I hate this person because they did this or that.” You also didn’t have any opinion about what people did around you. Your brain did not yet have any experiences you would use to comprehend the world in a complex way. You were only able to smile, look around, sleep, touch, smell, and take in the world without any judgement. You lived from how you felt and you were purely honest, because you didn’t yet know how to fake it or lie. Those were learned responses.
You did know how to guard yourself or criticize others. You didn’t know how to judge tenderly or harshly. You weren’t angry. You weren’t sad or depressed; you cried simply because you were uncomfortable. That was your only expression. “Help me. I am incapable of helping myself. And the way you look at me makes me so happy. I know when you walk into my space that I am connected to you and I purely trust that I am safe.”
The person who tended to you cooed at you to soothe you and spoke to you in a soft, sing-song voice that wrapped you in a warmth that you learned later is called Love. Love from a parent to a child is pure. It’s a DNA connection no one else can feel except for the two of you. It’s a bond that needs no words. You spark that love light each and every time you see or think about that other human being. That connection; that love never dies, even after one of you ceases to exist on the same conscious plane. But your love lives on in your memories and in your mind’s eye.
When you grow up you hope to find that same spark light up in another human being who makes you feel this same way. Someone who makes you instantly light up and smile when you walk in the room. Someone you look forward to seeing and spending time with. Someone you are anxious to get home to. Someone who speaks softly and loving in their communications in a natural way. Love emits from their warm, lingering hugs. It’s the look in their eyes when they see you that sends you their assurance that they are your mate for life. You are feeling love when another human makes you feel safe and rooted. Someone who you covet, you are proud of and you support their mental and physical well-being. Someone you can share air space with and not speak a word and it gives you great peace. Love is trust. Love is feeling grateful for one more day together as soon as you wake up. Love is warm kisses and making the other feel as though there is no one in the world you rather be with. Its never going to bed angry and never without a good night kiss. When you’ve spent enough time with this person and your heart can’t beat without them, you vow to bond together for life.
What authentic love is What authentic love is not
Warm & affectionate Cold & isolating
Open communication Guarded, holding back, shouting
Lovingkindess Unkind words or actions
Respect Name calling
Naturally feeling safe Abandonment
Welcoming Feeling empty
Careful choice of words Shaming
Tender Causing the other to feel afraid
Open hearted Self-protection
Win-win decisions One-upping
Reaching Out Withholding
A partnership A competition
Paying attention Ignoring
Never a bother Bothersome. Feeling interrupted
Small gestures from the heart Thoughtlessness
Recognizing worth Putting the other down
Sharing Selfishness or using for own gain
Being on the same page Conflict
Naturally occurring Forced
Never Give Up & Never Give In
CONNECT WITH ME
Wear Your Heart On Your Sleeve
"Lisa Chalker is One Face of Early Onset Parkinson's Disease. Come along on her journey from symptoms to diagnosis; through treatments and therapies. There are highs and lows, miracles and heart notes, and the determination to never, ever, ever, ever give up on the power of HOPE."